Book Excerpt, Chapter Twenty-One

"Stress Relief Tip: Watsu water massage takes the weight off your body. With gentle twists and pulls the pressures of a stressful life disappear."
-Water for Healthy Living

April and Glee engineer an intervention. They hijack me for a day at the spa. They claim it’s to relieve terminal crabbiness, but I know it’s their way of telling me I’m not making enough time for them.
 
April’s horn toots early. She waits in the car while Glee comes in juggling an armload of books.
 
“Jean, you have to read more about your condition.”
 
“What condition?” I race around looking for my tote, fill my politically-incorrect water bottle, let out Amber for a last pee and tie a gauzy scarf around my neck. I leave my planner behind. I’m flying solo with the trēo.

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Laughter is the Best Stressbuster
Stressed in Scottsdale
By Marcia Fine
 
Reviewed by Jessica Leigh Lebos

Face it — we live in a world that’s only getting crazier. Every minute brings another text, another task, another spam email advertising cheap pharmaceuticals…keeping up with it all could drive a person to distraction. Not to mention the things our politicians get past us when we’re not paying attention — whose idea was smog anyway, and who decided it was good idea to bomb the moon? All of it could give a person a heart condition — or worse.

Managing this overwhelmed state of mind is the challenge of protagonist Jean Rubin in Marcia Fine’s latest novel, Stressed in Scottsdale. Jean has already taken on murderous fashionistas and greedy developers in Fine’s first two snicker-worthy send-ups of Scottsdale, Gossip.com and Boomerang: When Life Comes Back to Bite You, both of which skewer the tony Arizona enclave for its superficial culture, plastic surgery obsession and ostentatious displays of wealth. Jean sticks out among the fake blonds dripping with diamonds like a cactus in an azalea patch with her Birkenstocks and Women’s Studies doctorate, and in this third tale of her heroic efforts to keep her life balanced, the stress begins to take its toll.

Drawing on news headlines and perhaps her own experience as a multi-tasker, Fine creates a frenetic — and funny — atmosphere that makes readers feel relieved that their own lives couldn’t possibly be as absurd. Jean has more on her to-do list than ever: Her well-meaning husband, Maury, has volunteered her to help the local Green party candidate win against her nemesis, her kids have kids of their own but can’t manage to quite grow up and a clever cat burglar is stealing the jewels of her best friends. Plus, there are needy freelance clients, her cantankerous elderly mother and a young environmentally-minded volunteer who might have designs on Maury — and at middle age, who can compete with thin thighs?

Thankfully, Jean has her pals Glee and April who occasionally whisk her away to the spa to help her relax, but those two with their endless credit can’t truly comprehend what it means to juggle work, family and finances in the real world. Their generosity helps Jean take a few breaths, but it’s not enough to stave off total system overload. Jean suffers a frightening collapse, and when she comes to, she realizes that while circumstances haven’t changed, she’s going to have to come up with more creative ways of handling them.

Fine clearly has an inside track to the 10,000 square-foot homes and girl-with-guns luncheons, but like any good satire, this one has wisdom to impart. Underneath its humorous barbs about rich desert living and Botox parties, Stressed In Scottsdale contains a serious message to all the busy women of the world who think they can get it all done: You can’t, and you won’t, so you might as well as enjoy it all anyway.

 

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